Life's Pleasures

Last week was a blur.
I don't really know what happened.
I thought that maybe, November would be a good month.
Maybe because Christmas is just a month's away. (That's what many would think isn't it?)
But upon seeing things that have happened, I bet it's anything but beautiful.

I had a good talk with Pearl the other night.
Thank god for that talk.
At least I let it all out to one person.
Thanks for that talk darling.
We're currently facing problems of our own.
It's just a phase I'm sure.
We'll give each other support through this little hump, and I'm sure we'll come out stronger than we were before. =)
Take care dear.

Saturday was a meetup session I needed.
With both my dearest Geoky and Sarah.
I was back in a comfort zone I longed to always be in.
There wasn't much let-it-out-and-you-will-feel-better session.
Cause' we know that if we want to let it out we would, without being asked.
Instead laughter and smiles was heard and seen.
It brought me back to my state of sanity.
And for that I thank both of you.
Cause' I'm sure my days ahead would be brighter. =)

No words, no actions. Just presence.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

6:34 AM

It's funny how you put your trust in someone and they take a stab on your back.
It's funny how you thought that the lil' friendship was blooming and they take advantage of it.

Come to think of it, I never really gave my trust.
I was knocked down before, to put my trust on someone too easily.

I really don't give a damn anymore.
Sometimes it's better to not bother.
The person who said "Ignorance is Bliss" is really going somewhere with that.

I recently realize that I've been building a wall for quite sometime.
One that I never thought I would build.
A wall so high and strong I'm just waiting for the moment for someone to break it down.
Maybe that's why I'm feeling empty all this while.
I was too afraid to show who I really am.
I was too afraid to get too near to anyone.
Being too attached was something that frightened me.

The only people that I'm being me when I'm with them is of those who are closest to me.
I won't mention names cause I know they know they mean so much to me.
And let's just say, the number of people whom I consider closest can be counted using just one hand.

Why bother when your effort is going to be wasted?

Saturday, November 18, 2006

2:06 AM

There is something about you
You don't even know it
I am telling you know that you got me good
There is something about you
And I can't overthrow it
Damn't you got me good
Now that I am alone
With you I am home
I got to let you know
You got me good
Something About You - Jamelia

Fizah, you got to move ahead.
Why be puzzled by situation that happened in the past?
Don't let yourself fall into the pit again.
It was hard pulling youself out of it to start with.
Don't take a step back.
Instead take a jump to the front.

For now, take thing as it is.
Why hurry to make a decision when you got time in your hand?
Think about it.
Go with the flow.
You'll eventually make the right decision.
Just remember, DON'T FALTER.

That was my inner soul talking to me.

I'm feeling a lil' lost this moment.
Feeling a lil' used at the same time.

Should I stay silent?
Would it affect the friendship if I don't?
What if the answers are not what I want to hear?
I'm too afraid to know.
I don't want to lose a friend.
But I might continue to suffer.

Should I step back from the whole situation?
And prevent myself from getting hurt again?
But not trying means not knowing.
I don't know.

I need answers.

I've come to realize the real friends I have.
I've got bestfriends.
I need no more.
And I don't intend to get new ones.

I'm walking away.
I need no more crap in my life.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

5:51 PM

Life's Purpose

Happiness comes in abundance
But we take it all for granted.
When sorrow sets in,
It is then we question life's purpose.

We doubt all things positive,
And potray all things negative.
Humans you ask,
"Do we have to make living a torturous task?"

In a world where perfection is over-rated
Humans might as well be painted.
Racing through the minutes of each day,
That's what some call the "pleasures of life".

Take a minute,
Breathe in the air.
When life gets too hard,
We all still have a purpose to live.

Friday, November 03, 2006

10:09 AM

It was the long awaited meet up session.
We should make Tuesdays our let's-get-together day.
Oh yes!!
The complains & stories.
That's what our life revolves around.

And so we went to Topshop.
Not with any ulterior motive or anything (referring to me that is).
I just wanted to look for that particular white top.
Such coincidence the same 2 guys were there.
This time the handsome one tried talking to me.
But being the dumbfounded, words-could-not-come-out from my mouth Fizah, there wasn't much that I could say.
All I could provide was the beauty of my smiles. (yes. all of you could say that i'm dumb.)

I saw the cute guy (yes yes. you all know which one.) too.
But he was pretty busy at (please don't be surprised!) the counter AGAIN.
Furthermore it wasn't like I wanted him to notice me.
Because, I REPEAT!
I didn't have any ulterior motive going there.
I simply didn't expect to see both of them again.

The meet up session definitely made my day. (i'm looking forward to the 15th!!)
But what I encountered top things off and made my day even better. =)

Moving on to a different story.

The other long awaited meet up session.
This time it's with the bestfriend.
We met up for just 1hr but much was said.

"Thanks for today darling. Though it's a short time, at least we get to talk quite abit. But * **** **** ** *** **** *** *****. But that's okay cause we still have each other. "

For that, I truly treasure her and this friendship.

We shall find time to meet up again soon.
And yes, by next week I promise to show you what you requested for. *winks*

The final and most awaited meet up session this week.
I could see why the 3 of us bonded the best.
We kind of think the same way, and all of us acknowledge the importance of the other in our own way.
I envy both of them in a way that doesn't involve jealousy but feelings of happiness and joy instead.
They found their happiness.
I'm yet to find mine.
Whatever that might happen I know I'll always have their support.
I'm pretty sure our next meet up session would be just as exciting and interesting as the one we just went through. =)

This week has been very fulfilling.
I feel blessed and loved.
With that I thank all four of YOU.

Fizah

I do things my way.
So don't stop me.

Don't be afraid to make a wrong move.
Because life has a funny way of making all things wrong seem right.

Memories don't do us much good.
It becomes of a burden as we age.

footprints

don't leave

ALTHEA
AMELIA
ANNICE
CHRISTINA
DAYANA
*GEOK LENG*
HERDA
JASON TOH
JOSHUA
SARAH
SHIKIN
SHIMA
SULINAH
XUELI