|
the past
thanks
layout: detonatedlove♥pictures: ohhspontaneityy stocks: _excentric_ |
Sunday, December 31, 2006
9:38 AM I'll be busy on the 31st of Dec. So let me just do my final entry of 2006 today. ( & thank god the connection is back) 2006 was a year I grew. Alot. I was beginning to see the similar situations I would face in the future. It was a hectic year. It was a chaotic year. It was a tearful year. It was a calming year. It was an exciting year. All bundled into one. I grew a year older. 18 was the number. An age whereby I'm suppose to have a certain amount of maturity. I'm not afraid to say I do. But I feel that I still have lots of learning to do. Memories. At times, I wsh that memories were something I could erase whenever I wanted to. There were those that were sweet. And there were those that were bitter. And certainly, there were those of bittersweet. But with memories, I know I'll move on. I'll close this chapter of my life on a happy note. Looking into the future that's somewhat untold. The past brings you to where you are today. Without you knowing, you're a better person inside and out. Friday, December 22, 2006
9:34 AM I dreamt again last night. This time it was weird. And it was of a different someone. I only remember bits and pieces of it. This time I wouldn't want to know the reason behind this dream. I don't think it holds much of an importance. But the person I dreamt of was of much significance. Because in a long time I haven't dreamt of you. A vortex so strong, I got sucked in. Thursday, December 21, 2006
11:51 AM I dreamt last night. It was a surprising one. I haven't dreamt of you in a very long time. We were not a couple. Just closefriends. Maybe even bestfriends. But the slightly more intimate times we had proved otherwise. Cause' at that time you had another to call your own. I woke up confused. There's a meaning behind each dream. I want to find the meaning behind this particular one. No. I don't want to fall back into my past. I moved on. I'm just glad we're still friends now. Maybe it was the talk about you yesterday. Maybe. I want an answer soon. Memories of the past still do haunt me. Friday, December 15, 2006
12:18 PM Sometimes I wonder. And sometimes I question. The purpose of my existence in this world. Is it for the joy of life I bring to my parents? Is if for the little companion I provide to my sister? Is it for the pampering times my grandma would always give to me? Or is it for the unity of family and knowing their importance in life? Is it for the days of play I enjoy back in my childhood? Is it for the days of innocence back in primary school? Is it for the start of fitting in back in secondary school? Is it for the days of struggles and problems in poly? Or it is for the challenge of the education system? Is it for the acquaintances I meet and forget in time to come? Is it for the friends I make and will always remember? Is it for the friends I lose along the way? Is it for the closefriends I confide in? Is it for the bestfriends I hold so dearly? Or is it for the many stangers I pass by each day? Is it for the first time I had a crush? Is it for the puppy love back in my younger days? Is it for the first time I entered a real relationship? Is it for the first time I truly gave my heart away? Is it for the first time I fell in love? Is it for the first time I was heartbroken by someone I loved so deeply? Or is for the first time when I realize love is something I can't comprehend? Is it for the wonder of what's my career in the future? Is it for the wonder of the type of house I'll be living in? Is it for the wonder of who's my life companion? Is it for the wonder of the number of children I will have in the future? Is it for the wonder of how I will look like when I'm in my 30s? Is it for the wonder of how I will look like when I'm a grandma? Is it for the wonder of when I'll leave the world? Or is it knowing in mind that the future is untold? I'll answer a "Yes" to each and every one of the question above. Cause' I know God has a reason for placing me in this world. The stages in life I'll go through before closing a very big chapter. I'll embrace life as it is. I do have a reason to live. Control your life. Not life controlling you. Tuesday, December 12, 2006
3:06 PM And so, 8th of December marks the last day of my first stopover, CSC. The friends I made. The times I enjoyed. The experience I had. (of both good and bad) All I'll miss. My island, they call it 131 island. My CSC partner-in-crime. We go crazy together. My buddy I'll irritate each day by poking my head into her cubicle. My talking kakis. The times we'll gather around Ah Xiang's table. My gossip kakis. The toilet's our location. My Prison Break mates. Four of them in particular. Thanks for the wonderful times. Yes. Each and everyone of you. With each end comes a new beginning. Talk about beginning, here comes classical. Which, let's see, I'll take it with an open heart. I'll enjoy life while I can. No ending is as bitter as the one when you would have to let go. Sunday, December 10, 2006
12:20 PM I just teared thinking of the times I'll miss in CSC. I'll do a proper update soon. Take care all. Saturday, December 09, 2006
1:04 AM RACHEL BILSON & ADAM BRODY HAVE CALLED IT QUITS TOO!!  Yes, it's been confirmed. It's over between them. They look so good together. Seeing them together spells H-O-T!! I'm broken hearted. I have no other couple to put my hopes on anymore. I'm hoping they would get back together some day. Isn't that how Hollywood works? But I still love them. P.S Dayana!! Look what has happened?? We shall mourn for their spilt. =( Tuesday, December 05, 2006
8:51 AM I'm left speechless at times. With the way people do things. I just don't have a say in it. I hate it. How a dear friend of mine got so hurt and broken. It was a shock. I was myself. You don't turn your back on something you care so much about. Face the facts and make things work. You don't run away, thinking that things will return to normal. Maybe it would, but the healing takes forever. You don't leave someone stranded. With all the hope that she might have. Maybe it wasn't of much importance. But at least let it end on a good note. Xueli, I might not be able to understand fully what you're thinking. The situation might now be what it seems to be. But I was in a similar situation a few years back. I don't want to say I understand how you feel, cause maybe I don't. But I know that till I got back on my feet, I was pretty much a sad person. Time and support got me out of the rut. Cry badly. Cry loudly. Cry uglily. You need that. But at the end of the day, just kow that you got some other special people in your life who will always be standing by you. Have some faith my dear. You'll get through it all. The rain has poured, but it will dry up one day. Friday, December 01, 2006
3:22 PM Specially dedicated to Xueli I can't do much to make the situation better. In fact there's nothing I can do. Only you and the person involved can turn the situation on brighter note. For now, I'll be standing right behind you to catch you when you fall. And I'll be sitting right beside you for a shoulder to lean on. I hope the movie date, watching Deck the Halls, made you feel a little less burdened by the problem. You went a little crazy singing away. I was glad you did because I finally saw a sincere smile and laughter in days. Something I was really hoping to see last night. I also hope the little talk and advices I gave you helps you in the process of finding the truth. Sometimes, I really don't know what to say to make you feel better. But I hope my presence will take your mind off things even for a night. =) Take care dear. Loves. Tomorrow will be a better day. |
Fizah
I do things my way. So don't stop me. Don't be afraid to make a wrong move. Because life has a funny way of making all things wrong seem right. Memories don't do us much good. It becomes of a burden as we age. footprints
don't leave
ALTHEAAMELIA ANNICE CHRISTINA DAYANA *GEOK LENG* HERDA JASON TOH JOSHUA SARAH SHIKIN SHIMA SULINAH XUELI |